Paul Bunyan gets stressed too
My mother’s father was an iron worker. He built iron truss bridges similar to this one.
I never knew him, but from pictures, I could see he was tall and strong with very large hands. As a child, I imagined that he could carry i-beams all by himself. Of course he could. That’s why he became an iron worker. He must’ve been the Paul Bunyan of iron workers!
Imagine my surprise at ten-years-old when my mother told me that my grandfather would occasionally get stressed!
How could this be?!
He’s so strong!
Larger than life!
And naturally I was curious, what did the Paul Bunyan of iron workers do when he was stressed?
He dusted.
Yup. He dusted. The dressers, the mantle, knick-knacks. Swirling, Tasmanian-style dusting.
I was befuddled. How could a man who carries around i-beams for a living dust when he’s stressed?!
Fascinating. Charming. Curious.
When I became a mother, I took up my grandfather’s practice of stress-dusting. I would feverishly dust, vacuum, scrub until I couldn’t any longer. When the kids were young, it worked great, but as they grew and as the issues grew along with them, cleaning turned from a self-care practice into a chore. Stress-dusting ceased to work like a charm.
Some of the issues I encounter these days aren’t easily solved. I just have to sit with them. Let them be. Let me be. When dusting doesn’t work, what to do I do?
There’s a fantastic book, Trauma Stewardship, by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky that outlines how to care for yourself when your work or daily life involves encountering other people’s trauma stories. It’s a moving look at how we care for others and ourselves.
After reading it, I was inspired to create a list of “when this, then that”. Here’s a small sampling of my self-care go-to…
When I feel too big or too small,
then I journal about it. How am I feeling? Sometimes my left hand has more insight to write than my right.
When I feel pulled in too many directions,
then I pause and become aware of the present moment. What is right in front of me, the next right step?
When I feel judgmental, irritated by others, or lonely,
then I reach out to connect with my support network, maybe through a chat or having tea. I do my best to consciously listen instead of talk.
When I feel too much emotion or sensation and it’s undesirable,
then I practice intentional breathing or pranayama. I usually slow my breathing.
When I feel floaty and off-kilter, not like myself,
then I pause to create an intention for the moment or the day. I refocus.
An hour-long bubble bath, a daily run, or a vacation are wonderful and worthy. In the moment though, self-care might look different. It could be smaller, more immediate steps that counter stress and move toward balance.
Although there’s a time for Paul Bunyan dusting too…
When I feel overwhelmed because my house is as messy as the inside of my head,
then I dust.
. . .
What is your list of “when this”?
How about a list of “then that” to balance each stress filled situation?