glad to welcome 2019!
This past year has been difficult, leaving me with a diminished sense of hope. Early in 2018, I was finishing up the TCTSY certification and had exciting plans of starting new classes and projects. When my mother passed two days after graduation, life came to a screeching halt.
By October, I felt ready to pick up projects and commitments again. It was an inspiring month with a trip to Kripalu and the opportunity to assist in a TCTSY weekend. Then, my grandmother passed in early November. I’ve been feeling the ripple of that week ever since.
. . .
I’m a product of the ’80s TV generation. I ate up morsels of sound bite wisdom from Donahue and Oprah. I’ve never forgotten one of Oprah’s morsels and have tested it thousands of times, sometimes knowingly but most of the time not. I remember it something like this:
Life gives you the experiences you need to be able to grow. First, the lesson comes as something small, a pebble in your shoe. If you ignore it, the lesson will come again but in the form of something more noticeable. Maybe you trip on a rock and skin your knee. The rocks will become bigger and bigger until you either learn the lesson or run into a brick wall at 60 mph.
My 2018 was a series of larger and larger rocks. I spent most of December realizing (ahem, panicking) that I need to learn from the experiences of this year before the rock becomes a quickly approaching brick wall.
So, I’ve decided that I need to become more still, more aware. This requires a contraction of sorts, a learning how to say no, an acceptance (or at least acknowledgment) that it’s ok to take a step back in order to take a step forward.
I may adjust down the road, but here’s what’s different for now:
blog post every week: Largely, I let go of this a while ago as life became larger. I love to write and may still include a story here and there, but the weekly commitment is too much right now.
blog post every week: Largely, I let go of this a while ago as life became larger. I love to write and may still include a story here and there, but the weekly commitment is too much right now.
newsletter: I’ll continue to send out newsletters weekly-ish. The first one of the month will contain the bulk of information, maybe a blog post if there is one. The weekly newsletter will be for quick updates about the Y12SR meeting or pertinent news that can’t wait until the first email of the month.
Most subscribers are set up to receive the newsletter weekly. You can change that preference to monthly here or you can click on the update your preferences link at the bottom of any email. People who subscribe weekly will also receive monthly newsletters, but monthly subscribers will only receive the first newsletter of each month.
maintaining personal connection: This is important to me. While I connect best with others in person, I’m trying out two new ways to connect in the newsletter.
1. A monthly reading list. I read several books at a time. I’ve always found my reading list curious, noticing themes with an ebb and flow. Sometimes, the stack feels like a good friend with each book contributing a different part of personality. Every month, I’ll share what I’m reading. If you’d like, you can share what you’re reading too. Maybe we’ll discover a common interest.
2. A question. Recently, I’ve re-discovered the valuable depths of contemplation. I’m also realizing the power of making contemplation a touchstone in my day. Like greeting the day, I’ll begin each email with a question for contemplation. Shorter than a blog post, this feels manageable but hopefully not less impactful. The question this week is from a workshop I recently facilitated, and it’s one I’m answering for myself. Feel free to take what works for you and leave the rest.
public, studio classes: Inquiries about public classes have been increasing. It makes sense to schedule one, yet I’m still thinking it over. Facilitating yoga classes and workshops is my day job with private contracts making up the majority of my time. I do hold space for one public Y12SR class on Saturdays. This will stay the same. I’m moving closer to adding a public yoga class and will let you know when that happens. I may also offer time-limited workshops. Which direction makes the most sense? If you have feedback about this, it would be helpful to hear from you!
. . .
Although not one for New Year’s resolutions, I love the hope that the turning of the year brings. I want to tell you that my intention is to live in hope this year, but that sounds pie-in-the-sky.
Setting an intention even sounds too lofty. Maybe I need a question. So, my is-this-too-vulnerable-to-share-with-you question/intention is this. . .
Considering the past year, does hope have something to offer?
The only way I know to begin answering/living this should-I-say-it-out-loud question/intention is to take a step back, be honest about what I’m doing, and then sit still. I trust that from stillness will come awareness and from awareness will come movement forward.
Here’s to your journey in 2019.
May you find hope whether it be in the movement forward, in the movement backward, or in the midst of stillness.