two perspectives
My grandma (Winona) and her sister (Millie) were young girls during the Great Depression. Throughout my childhood, they’d tell stories about those days... two very different stories.
To hear Grandma tell it, the Great Depression was the worst. It absolutely ruined her childhood. They didn’t have money, were always hungry, and everyday life was miserable.
To Aunt Millie, though, the Great Depression was a roaring party! She’d tell me how she had ice cream cones every week and money in her pocket. Sometimes she wouldn’t buy her sister a cone if she was too crabby, which maybe accounted for Grandma’s ruined childhood!
When I asked Aunt Millie how she could afford ice cream, she positively lit up! She explained how she “found things to sell”. I’m not exactly sure what this meant, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t steal anything. I got the impression she’d charm a local merchant into a good price on bulk items… like combs.
Yup, she found good deals on pocket combs. She’d buy them for 5¢, then take her moxie and liveliness door to door, selling neighbors combs for 10¢. Some of the money went to buying her next bulk item while the rest went to the household (but only after an ice cream cone or two!)
Into her eighties, Aunt Millie would laugh about what fun her “game” was during those years. She loved chatting people up, sharing stories, laughing at jokes, and trying to convince customers to buy, what I imagine to be, a fifth comb. She expressed once that she was a bit sad to see the Depression end. Her business channels had shifted once grown ups went back to work. (Not to worry… Aunt Millie earned an Associates degree in Business and worked in a fancy, downtown department store well into adulthood.)
I was fascinated by their divergent perspectives, even asking on several occasions if they grew up in the same house with the same parents.
They did.
Grandma passed when I was a teen and Aunt Millie when I was in my late 30s. Throughout life, Grandma felt smothered by a constantly falling sky while Aunt Millie was ecstatic that the sky was closer... it was easier to explore what was above the clouds!
This past week, I’ve found myself oscillating between their outlooks. I love people, connecting in person with energy and appreciation. Yet, I’m doing what I can to take this situation seriously, maintaining social distance. I feel like I’m trying to cross a busy street without a crosswalk, looking left to right, cars rushing past. How can I make it to the other side while keeping myself and others safe? It’s a lot to take in and process.
But, social distance doesn’t need to mean social disconnection. There’s a world to explore, new kinds of connections to be made, and old ones to rediscover. I can be smothered by the sky or pop my head above the clouds and see the possibilities of this moment. Frankly, I’ve been in both places this week. I’ve cried because I miss being out and about with people, and I’ve rediscovered the simple magic of the telephone.
Maybe our current situation with COVID-19 isn’t a biggie for you. Maybe the closures are stressful, or maybe you’ve been triggered into a trauma response. Together, we can create space to acknowledge our range of reactions and responses. Then, we can make choices about how to care for ourselves and others. I’m making a conscious decision to move toward Aunt Millie’s approach, seeing the closer sky as full of life to explore.
To this end, I’m shifting services for the foreseeable future…
FREE, live, online yoga practices for anyone. No phone consultation required. Stay for 10 minutes or the whole time. You get to choose.
a Y12SR meeting online at our regularly scheduled time
individual, online TCTSY sessions at half price. Coupon code halfprice. The community pricing sliding scale is still available. A free phone consultation is required.
Social connection is key in healthfully managing stress, fear, and trauma. By coming together to practice, live and online, we can build this much needed connection even during a time of distance.
I’m happy to answer questions, address concerns, or share a hello at Kate@thrivingtreeyoga.com. Or, maybe we’ll see each other during an online practice. Either way, let’s stay connected.
May you be happy and healthy…
May you be peaceful and at ease…
May you be filled with joy and lovingkindness…
May you love and may you be loved.
With gratitude for our connection,
Kate O'Hara is a trauma care specialist professionally trained and certified as a Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga Facilitator (TCTSY-F) and a Yoga Alliance Certified Education Provider (YACEP). With comprehensive experience facilitating groups and individual sessions for people in recovery from trauma and substance use disorder, Kate offers movement and embodiment services within the TCTSY model, an evidence-based, adjunctive treatment for complex trauma and PTSD. She also supports organizations in their transformation from trauma-informed systems to trauma-sensitive cultures by partnering with social service agencies to provide direct participant care as well as professional training workshops. Since her thesis project work in Industrial Design, Kate has focused her attention on creating experiences where people have the opportunity to connect to themselves, others, and the wider world around them. Naturally curious, she's committed not only to professional development but also the rigorous exploration of self-study. For more information about Kate and her work in communities, you're welcome to visit www.thrivingtree.com.
Kate is not a mental health clinician. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or triggered, please reach out to your mental health provider. The National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) also has a great resource here.
The SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline at (800) 985-5990 is available 24/7, 365-days-a-year. They provide crisis counseling and support to people experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters.